I CONFESS
I needed to drop off some items I bought my sister at her apartment, and it was the first time I had been there in a few years. Man. I honestly didn't realize how much she is like my siblings and mom in regards to keeping a home... It was BAD. It's also very... triggering for me to be in a disaster zone like that and I felt my anxiety creeping up hard. I couldn't really focus on anything around me, I just noticed STUFF, BROKEN THINGS, and DINGY DARKNESS. Like there was a kitchen cabinet door just hanging on one hinge and just a small pathway cleared from the door to the abyss that was the living room. She offered a weak excuse of how she hasn't been able to clean in a week... But there is no way all that happened in one week. I just joked about how she is never allowed to judge my house which she laughed and was like, I never do!!! Which made me feel bad because there is a part of me judging her about her apartment... But I also know it runs in the family and she was raised like that so it's hard.
I told my husband what I saw and that I just don't know how I am related to these people sometimes, ha. He was like, I tell you all the time you are different from them! I'm not sure how or why I ended up so much cleaner than them???
I offered to buy her some hinges and a screwdriver but she was like nah, I need to call maintenance for the door, AC, and dishwasher... AHHHH.
I CONFESS
The visit did motivate me to pick up my shoes and put them away in their cubbies and vacuum my bedroom!
I CONFESS
I've been doing about 4-5 miles walk/hike every week for about a month now and I'm feeling in better shape each time I go! So far my favorite leggings that I wear are from Athleta. I have a few from Nike, but now after wearing them I have a preference. But only when they are on sale, they are so pricey!
I CONFESS
My sister is in a long-distance relationship with this guy from Long Beach which I have so many thoughts about... and I let my sister know them because she is frustrating the hell out of me.
--She visited him a few weeks ago, she took the bus, HER DOG, and took a week off from her work to stay with him. This was after he came up to visit her for a week, and I'm pretty sure she also took that week off from work.
--she put her dog in a hotel for the whole trip. what. why did she drag this dog on an 8-hour bus ride to just shove it into a hotel for a week??
--this guy lives with his parents. This wasn't originally a thing I held against him because housing costs are CRAZY so I get it.
--but this guy had his stepdad drive out to LA to pick my sister up from the bus and drop her dog off at the hotel. I don't think he was there for this or if he was... why couldn't he drive the car? My sister is 32 by the way, not 19. Being picked up by your guy's stepdad... at this age. Girl what.
--she is supposed to leave on Saturday, but miscalculated LA traffic and by the time she got to the hotel to get her dog, she didn't have time to make her bus. So she had to uber back to this guy's parent's place.
--his stepdad once again (plus the guy), drive her to the doggy hotel the next day so she would be on time. HOW EMBARRASSING IS THIS WHOLE SITUATION FOR EVERYONE.
--after all this, she gets back home, and she is skint. She doesn't have any money for groceries because she doesn't have any paid time off, so not only did this trip cost her money she did have, it cost her money she didn't earn.
--I help her out with almost 300 dollars for groceries because I've been there and I don't want her to go hungry.
--a week later... she is texting me if there is a train that goes there instead of a bus. I fucking lose it. How financially irresponsible is she to be thinking of ANOTHER trip there!!!!
I tell her she is being a dumb bitch (I didn't say bitch...but my words were not kind) to be in a long-distance relationship when she is POOR and doesn't drive and this guy is also POOR and doesn't have a car (apparently he just has a motorcycle). Like she is 32. Why is she so committed to being poor for the rest of her life. She has a one-bedroom low-income apartment that she rents out the room to a friend, and she stays in the living room. We go back and forth a bit until she is super pissed (she really doesn't like me telling her she is poor) and is like: HEATHER I MAKE MORE THAN YOU I'M FINE.
what.
First of all, I have never told her how much I make. And two, who the fuck just paid for groceries for her because she had no money? Do you know the last time I had no money for groceries? Twenty years ago. Neil tells me over and over to stop giving my siblings money because they never appreciate it... and he's not wrong.
What I pay for property taxes on my house equals what she pays in rent. I buy groceries for two vs her one. I have six pets to buy food for she has two pets. My husband pays for her and my phone. So you can't even argue that I have fewer bills, so that is why I have more money making less than her.
But also facts: I make more money than her, obviously. So I pressed and asked what she made, and she said like 2200 a MONTH. Girl, bye. So I was honest with my monthly income and she was like, whatever, I'll have a second job by next month and I'll have more money.
THAT IS THE SAME MOVE my other sister does when she is proved wrong. Refuses to admit they were wrong and says something stupid to try to prove they are still right. But also how is she going to get a second job when she already works 6 days a week at her first job.
ANYWAYS. I'm still very annoyed that she keeps making choices that make her life HARDER. Why can't she date a guy in San Jose??? It's not called Man Jose for nothing! There are tons of single guys that make decent money and she could finally get out of her crappy apartment. I'm not saying go full gold digger... but get some fucking standards.
Also, I make more money than her Long Beach guy too.
I did keep pressing her to tell me anything about Long Beach guy that made him different than the other guys she has dated and why is it worth the long-distance relationship and all the financial hardship that brings. He has a full-time job and pays rent to his parents. Um. So the bar is on the ground, got it.
I'm tired of not saying anything about her shit relationships, but she gets SO BUTTHURT over any criticism of her life choices. And she is making really bad ones right now. Being in this relationship is costing her money she can't afford to spend!!!
Oh and just two months ago she was baby crazy, and has been baby crazy for as long as she has been dating, 15 years or so, and even had a box of baby clothes she had been collecting... and guess what now. She doesn't want kids and never really wanted them. Why do you ask? Oh, what a coincidence that Long Beach guy doesn't want children. So that is one saving grace from this guy, BUT MY GOD. Could she be any more like my older sister who changes her personality like a chameleon based on who she is dating!!! And not like a natural progression of change that happens when you spend a lot of time with someone, like an immediate change once they find out what the other person likes and is into, and then changes again when they date someone else.
What also added fuel to my rage, was that before her trip down to visit him, she accidentally texted me instead of him about "how cheap condos are in long beach"... which I pretended to not know this was meant for him and I was like, um, we have different definitions of cheap. This yahoo has known this guy for two months and wants to buy a condo with him in a city that she hadn't even been to yet. And she thinks the two of them can afford a condo together. Unless this guy has someone in his life to help him out financially with that, yeah right. The cheapest I found was 250,000 with 250/month in HOA fees (it's also just a 1bedroom/1bathroom and doesn't have a washer and dryer, you have to go to the community laundry room). They would need 61k to close on that. But what the fuck do I know, ever, all my siblings act like I think I'm smart but I'm not smarter than them.
But seriously, how is she supposed to save up for a down payment if she can't even afford groceries after a vacation?
Do I sound like a shallow gold-digging bitch? Probably... but goddamn, stop making your life harder when it's already so hard!
OK RANT OVER I'M JUST SO FRUSTRATED.
