I CONFESS
Anyone feeling intense anxiety over the election? Like, I try to tell myself that worrying about it doesn't DO anything. I did my best and voted (finally) though maybe my "best" would have been to move to a swing state and vote there, ha. If Trump "wins" again... I just don't know how much more of that man I can take and the negative influence he has on this country. If he loses though, what kind of shit show is that going to be??? Can he just go. Quietly. Away. Forever. With his fans. That would be great.
I just feel this underlying feeling of STRESS and I feel like it would be alleviated somewhat if I felt I could have trust in our government again. You know, as much as one can trust your government. Which at this point is 0.
I CONFESS
I feel like I don't have any real cause to be stressed/anxious either. I have my job, which I get to do from home, as does my husband. We don't have to worry about how we are going to pay the mortgage or property taxes. I mean, my job has been another layer of stress, it's been ramping up the past few weeks and I am feeling overwhelmed. But that's different. I think.
But like, how stressed can I possibly be when I don't have kids, can't find a babysitter, or have to help them with online learning at home, I don't have anyone I know sick with covid, or in an assisted living facility that I can't visit due to visiting restrictions. I have time to doodle, read, drink a cocktail in the backyard while hanging out with my tortoise. I just say all this to try to keep myself grounded, not to say I can't also be stressed. Which I am. Have I typed the word "stressed" enough?
I CONFESS
Do any of you read The Root? I started reading it this year as part of my trying to understand the black community better to be a better ally (is it working? I have no idea). I don't read every post, but I try. I do skip the ones about sports. I just am never going to find that interesting. A series that I do like, "Clapblack Mailbag" even if I don't always understand it sometimes (I think I just don't have enough pop culture references in my repertoire), this particular post really resonated with me for some reason, like it really just laid it all out there exactly what is on their shoulders EVERY DAY. And with all that mental/emotional labor, how he just summed it at the end :(
I CONFESS
The other day I was trying to say the word "Nicoise" because we were watching Schitts Creek where the one character ordered the Mediterranean salad with tuna and Neil questioned it like wtf, and I was like, you know, like that French salad... knee-coy? I KNEW THAT WASN'T RIGHT. I could see the word in my head but I couldn't remember the last time I heard it out loud. So Neil said it the right way, cause he is cultured like that, ha. But not in a mean, condescending way, and I really appreciated that. I know words. I just can't say them.
