faerie eye

faerie eye

introvert with me

Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Weird Science Review

Neil decided that I needed to watch some iconic 80s movies that I haven't seen yet, one of which was Weird Science. So I didn't know much about this movie just a vague thinking that some high school boys built an AI Robot. I was kinda right. But I had NO IDEA HOW FREAKIN CREEPY this movie was.

So it starts off with two unpopular kids creeping on the girl's high school gymnastics team practicing until the two boys get pants by more two popular kids... Which, I don't condone bullying, but these two were being hella creepy.

They have a sleepover, and it's brought up super casually that the one kid (who is rich) has this impossible computer set up to make an AI woman. Not sure why they didn't do more world building on that first? The friend suggests they make one to basically be a sex slave and will let them do whatever depraved shit they can think of. This doesn't ring any Jeffrey Dahmer alarm bells at all :/ These kids are 15 and haven't even kissed a girl, yet they immediately jump to a whole sub/dom thing? Ok.

So it works by manifesting an actual adult woman that looks to be about 30 (I had to look it up, she was 25). She wants to go out and party, so for some reason they go to a geriatric jazz bar which is supposed to read as thuggish/rough but I'm waiting for the music to stop and everyone to start playing bingo.

One kid gets super drunk and spends too much of the movie doing a drunk voice that feels racist, trying to sound like an old jazz guy. Then the computer woman makes out with the other kid. WHO IS ONLY 14 IN REAL LIFE. WHAT THE FUCK.

They encounter rich kids older brother the next morning who is like 40 for some reason (I looked it up: he was 30 during filming). I still have no idea what age he was supposed to be representing in the movie.

The next day they go to the mall for some reason, even though Lisa (sex robot) already demonstrated and verbally expressed (because showing was too subtle???) that she can manifest anything into existence, so why are they buying stuff? But I guess is it really an 80s teenage movie without a mall scene? Lisa is buying a tiny black thong from an old modest looking lady and asks if this is something that would turn on a 15-year-old boy o.O And then asks for a matching bra in rubber or latex or whatever and the old lady just says "oh come ON" in an exasperated tone, and I feel like she is channeling the audience at this point.

Like again, who are we rooting for here?

Then there is a scene where she goes to the friend's house to convince his parents to let him go to a party at the rich kid's house. Why he couldn't just say he was spending the night again? Lisa goes on and on about how he "deserves" to go for getting good grades, but it won't be a wax on nipple orgy type party, just a normal teenage orgy one. Again. What the fuck. The parents are upset because this weird sex-obsessed woman wants to throw a teenage orgy party with their son, but again, it tries to play out like the parents are the bad guys here. What.

The party happens, tons of people show up, they try to create another sex robot thing, goes wrong and weird stuff happens, house gets trashed, grandparents get frozen, older brother shows up the next morning super pissed about the mess and frozen grandparents, which, is reasonable, right? The two outcast boys find two teen girls to fall in love with at the party, Lisa approves, the house goes back to normal, Lisa becomes the high school P.E instructor? Movie ends.

I read online that the director wrote this movie in two days, and I believe it. And the woman that played Lisa said her character was basically like a Mary Poppins with boobs, which... I get what she is trying to say because she spends most of her time babysitting and trying to give life lessons to the two kids. What those lessons were exactly, who knows.

I don't ever need to watch this movie again.