faerie eye

faerie eye

introvert with me

Monday, August 27, 2018

Five things you are probably good at that I am not


[Post idea inspired by this post from Forever Amber]

Applying Makeup

Most specifically: EYELINER and any lipstick that isn't nude. I just can't seem to manage it! Eyeliner is just a huge disaster. I've tried all kinds: marker, gel, crayon, it all looks horrific. I've tried all the tips too: make dashes and connect them, use tape as an outline, use a credit card to guide you... It's just not happening guys. And red lipstick? Half my upper lip will be rounded, the other pointy, the edges not staying in... Just trying to find the edges of my lips suddenly eludes me and do you put the lipstick all the way to the corners? Over them? WHY IS IT SO HARD.


Driving 

I've covered this before but I feel it had to make this list.


Ordering drinks at a bar

I don't know what to order, or how, or how to pay. Can you just give me a menu, please? The few times I've ordered it's because there is a menu behind the bartender and they are at a register, or I just order shots of one kind of alcohol.


Knowing artists names, album names, song titles, lyrics 

You know, practically anything music related. Neil will often be like, did you hear? So and So died. Who? SO AND SO. Um, okay, like who was that? ONLY A MUSICIAN YOU LISTEN TO LIKE ALL THE TIME. Oh. 


Map Reading/Awareness 

I will invariably walk out the wrong way after I walk into a store at the mall. Also, the map on my phone that has the little arrow where you are leading to where you want to go? Yeah, I fail at that too, so hard. HOW I DON"T KNOW I DON'T GET IT. The pointing part of the arrow should be facing the direction you are walking right? So if you are walking the right way, it should be pointing to the line to your next destination? Or am I wrong?? I always end up walking the wrong way but the map doesn't make it seem like I am! When I was in Santa Cruz with my sister I just could not for the life of me figure out which side of me the ocean should be for me to get to the park. I mean, I knew it had to be on my left... but then the map and little arrow kept confusing me... and then we ended up passing the street we needed to turn right on, then I crossed the street and turned around, so now the ocean was on my right, and the map was still being bonkers. And the same thing happened when I was supposed to meet my family for dinner downtown on a different day. My brother had to walk to the corner and guide me through text and look for me! It's that bad, guys. 

Anybody in solidarity with me? Or am I a lone weirdo. Tell me what you are bad at that everyone else seems to be good at!